From "Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done" by Larry Bossidy and Ram Charan
In the typical corporate meeting-a business review, for example-the dialogue is constrained and politicized. Some people want to shade and soften what they say to avoid a confrontation. Others need to beat those they are talking to into submission. In groups that contain both types of people (which is the case in many meetings), dialogue becomes a combat sport for the killers and a humiliation or bore for the passives. Little reality gets on the table, and the meeting doesn't move the issues forward much.
Now think of a meeting that produced great results-that got the realities and ended with a plan for results. How did it happen?
Dialogue alters the psychology of a group. It can either expand a group's capacity or shrink it. It can be energizing or energy draining. It can create self-confidence and optimism, or it can produce pessimism. It can create unity, or it can create bitter factions.
Robust dialogue brings out reality, even when that reality makes people uncomfortable, because it has purpose and meaning. It is open, tough, focused, and informal. The aim is to invite multiple viewpoints, see the pros and cons of each one, and try honestly and candidly to construct new viewpoints. This is the dynamic that stimulates new questions, new ideas, and new insights rather than wasting energy defending the old order.
How do you get people to practice robust dialogue when they are used to the games and evasions of classical corporate dialogue? It starts at the top, with the dialogues of the organization's leader. If he or she is practicing robust dialogue, others will take the cue. Some leaders may be short on the emotional fortitude required to invite disagreement without getting defensive. Others may need to learn some specific skills to help people challenge and debate constructively. These people should be able to get help.
But the key is that people act their way to thinking because they're driven for results. If you reward for performance, the interest in performance will be sufficiently deep to sponsor a dialogue. Everybody needs to get the best answer, and that means everybody must be candid in their exchanges - no one person has all the ideas. If someone says something you disagree with and you rudely tell him he's full of hot air, a lot of other people aren't going to speak out next time. If instead you say, "Okay, let's talk about that. Let's listen to everybody, and then make our choice," you'll get much better responses.
Knowledge Construction Worker
Knowledge Construction Worker
OPEN-MINDEDNESS in CONVERSATIONS
By Loren Ekroth
It’s hard to keep an open mind during heated
conversation, isn’t it? People get identified with
certain ideas and assert them fervently. They
offer “Yes, but . . .” responses to those with
different or opposing views. They don’t really
consider evidence against their own views.
Why Are People Closed-minded?
Once a belief has been established, it is hard to
change. Often our beliefs are set early in life
as a result of our up-bringing and limited
exposure to other belief systems. For that
reason, the majority of people share the
religious faith and political beliefs of their
parents. The adage says, “The way the twig
is bent, so grows the tree.”
Beliefs are maintained by selective exposure to
information. Media research demonstrates that
individuals privatize themselves by paying most
attention to those media that support their beliefs
and much less to media that offer contrary ideas.
As well, birds of a feather DO flock together,
so we surround ourselves with people of like
mind in our clubs, churches, and workplace.
Once polarized in our beliefs and opinions, we
tend to ignore or dismiss contrary evidence so
as “not to be confused by the facts.”
Benefits of Open-Mindedness
Being open-minded carries certain benefits,
among them the ability to be less swayed by
specific events and to be less susceptible to
manipulation and suggestion. Open-minded
people are more thoughtful and not so easily
roused to anger because they can actually
consider alternative views without upset.
(Think of how beneficial open-mindedness
would be for you when your Uncle Dick goes
on a political rant with you during a holiday
get-together! You could hear him out with
civility and not ruin your day.)
How to Increase Your Open-Mindedness
Here are two exercises attributed to Catherine
Freeman, a therapist and coach:
1. Take a position opposite to your own on a
controversial topic such as abortion or gun control.
Generate at least 3 reasons to support this opposite
position, the more the better. (This method is
similar to what college debaters are required to do:
to argue both sides of proposition with reasoned
argument.)
2. Recall a time someone wronged you and
come up with some reasons why they may have
done that inadvertently without intent to harm.
(Also, The “Work” of Byron Katie has a simple,
clear steps of 4 questions that is profoundly
helpful in getting un-stuck from judgements.
(Details at www.thework.org.)
To an in-law firmly convinced of his
rightness on a number of political issues, I
say “I agree that we disagree.” I don’t try
to change him, and he offers himself as a
model close-minded person. I can usually
listen to his views without becoming upset,
and once in a while I’ll change my thinking.
My intention is not that he change, but only
that he be thoughtful when we talk. For me,
that is a more attainable goal than change.
OPEN-MINDEDNESS in CONVERSATIONS
By Loren Ekroth
It’s hard to keep an open mind during heated
conversation, isn’t it? People get identified with
certain ideas and assert them fervently. They
offer “Yes, but . . .” responses to those with
different or opposing views. They don’t really
consider evidence against their own views.
Why Are People Closed-minded?
Once a belief has been established, it is hard to
change. Often our beliefs are set early in life
as a result of our up-bringing and limited
exposure to other belief systems. For that
reason, the majority of people share the
religious faith and political beliefs of their
parents. The adage says, “The way the twig
is bent, so grows the tree.”
Beliefs are maintained by selective exposure to
information. Media research demonstrates that
individuals privatize themselves by paying most
attention to those media that support their beliefs
and much less to media that offer contrary ideas.
As well, birds of a feather DO flock together,
so we surround ourselves with people of like
mind in our clubs, churches, and workplace.
Once polarized in our beliefs and opinions, we
tend to ignore or dismiss contrary evidence so
as “not to be confused by the facts.”
Benefits of Open-Mindedness
Being open-minded carries certain benefits,
among them the ability to be less swayed by
specific events and to be less susceptible to
manipulation and suggestion. Open-minded
people are more thoughtful and not so easily
roused to anger because they can actually
consider alternative views without upset.
(Think of how beneficial open-mindedness
would be for you when your Uncle Dick goes
on a political rant with you during a holiday
get-together! You could hear him out with
civility and not ruin your day.)
How to Increase Your Open-Mindedness
Here are two exercises attributed to Catherine
Freeman, a therapist and coach:
1. Take a position opposite to your own on a
controversial topic such as abortion or gun control.
Generate at least 3 reasons to support this opposite
position, the more the better. (This method is
similar to what college debaters are required to do:
to argue both sides of proposition with reasoned
argument.)
2. Recall a time someone wronged you and
come up with some reasons why they may have
done that inadvertently without intent to harm.
(Also, The “Work” of Byron Katie has a simple,
clear steps of 4 questions that is profoundly
helpful in getting un-stuck from judgements.
(Details at www.thework.org.)
To an in-law firmly convinced of his
rightness on a number of political issues, I
say “I agree that we disagree.” I don’t try
to change him, and he offers himself as a
model close-minded person. I can usually
listen to his views without becoming upset,
and once in a while I’ll change my thinking.
My intention is not that he change, but only
that he be thoughtful when we talk. For me,
that is a more attainable goal than change.
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