Group dialogue does not just happen.

In my opinion, working with a group is a skill, something that does not come by itself. The evidence to this statement is the fact that not all communication going on during meetings is productive communication. Not all communication going on during meetings is conversation.

In a normal working day we may face conversations of type A, B or C

Type A Conversation (A stands for Antagonistic) , meaning conversations that can't seem to move beyond conflict

Type B Conversation (B stands for Banal), meaning conversations which feel oppressive, boring, or depressing, This might happen because participants are trying to avoid conflict, intimacy, or surprises, or it might just be habit. (Common examples are extreme politeness, tightly-controlled meetings, and alienated marriages.)

Type C Conversation (C stands for Creative), meaning conversations that engage people's diversity creatively to generate greater shared understanding.

Harrison Owen said once : "Dialogue is people truly listening to people truly speaking." When we all truly speak and truly listen, we can't help but generate greater shared understanding.

The one we need for a successful coalition-building effort. At that point conversation enlarges and possibly changes a participant's point of view rather than affirms a participant's own point of view.
We know this much: if people are involved in C type conversations problem gets solved, business gets done ! If only we could make every conversation a creative one. Would it be great ?

The Bad news is that we can not force people into participation or creativity. People are by their nature free to really listening or not, free to really talking or not. Hidden agendas get in the way……

Authentic Participation – like good friendship - can not be forced. Conversation is shared exploration towards greater understanding, connection, or possibility. Unfortunately we know that conversations do not just happen. So the full participation and the greater connection that we want to use to solve a problem turns into “the problem”.

So we end up with our original problem plus this new one: how to engage people. A problem we tackle in a group everyday on top of an agenda to accomplish and a job to get done. Often with deadlines looming.